Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Hash Trash - Run 113

Run no 113

Location: Turgutreis

Hares: Pisser and Flasher

Scribe: Culture Vulture

“Gray skies are gonna clear up,Put on a happy face”.  Yes, despite the shitty weather over the previous days (or was it weeks?), 14 or 15 brave souls turned up for Run 113 including one virgin (well done Marie after 4 years of cajoling). 

The GM called the opening circle and the down down for first home on the last (short but sweet) run was given to Shitter who, as usual, had left his brain cell at home and took it with the wrong hand.  Next the hares, Pisser and Flasher, who gave us the usual load of crap about the run or not.  Then Pisser gave us our religious advice, followed by a warm up of European National walking postures (“Brush off the clouds and cheer up,Put on a happy face”).  Then ON-ON was called.

Hose Handler, Shitter & Culture Vulture seemed to be the only runners today accompanied by the hare Pisser.  At the second or third check, Shitter took the wrong trail, and despite vain backtracking by Pisser calling ON-ON, Shitter got completely lost (well we did say he had left his brain cell at home – “Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,It's not your style, You'll look so good that you'll be gladYa' decide to smile!”)…and then there were two (or three if you include the hare).  Two hashers checking up to three trails from each check tends to slow things down a bit, and CV managed to slow things even further by calling ON-ON whilst returning from a steep back check – what a rotter (“Pick out a pleasant outlook,Stick out that noble chin;Wipe off that "full of doubt" look,Slap on a happy grin!”).  All three managed to arrive back at the RV together (who gets the first Home down down next run?) where everyone else had already arrived including the lost Shitter (and, apparently, Dopey).

GM called the closing circle.  First in were the hares, of course, and given the usual tirade of abuse (“And spread sunshine all over the place,Just put on a happy face!Put on a happy facePut on a happy face”).  Dopey and *** were next as returnees.  They had obviously been away for so long that they had forgotten which hand to use, so a second draught for them. 

Virgin Marie was then anointed – hope you enjoyed the day.  At a second calling in to tell us about herself (very reluctantly), she didn’t doff her hat so she and her persuader, Whilst You’re Down There, paid the price (“And if you're feeling cross and bitterish, Don't sit and whine, Think of banana split and licorice, And you'll feel fine”).  Dopey was then called in again to receive his glorious mug for his 50th run – well done Dopey, hope you remember to bring it with you in future!

The RA then continued the circle with some mis-namers (Cums Too Soon and Hose Handler who’d called himself by his own name!!).  Shitter was called in for his opening wrong handed down down and for getting lost so he took his double down down with one in each hand just to be sure (maybe he had found his brain cell?).

Culture Vulture then requested a spot in the circle to explain about tropical storms (to the accompaniment of much yawning) to end with calling the RA an impersonator as a current tropical storm is named Garry.  This earned CV a down down also for mis-naming.  Flasher gave the game away about the weather by brandishing her umbrella (“Now she's a mean old thing, So spread sunshine all over the place, Just put on a happy face, So, put on a happy face.”) so the RA’s down down was well deserved.  More down downs ensued so that no-one was spared the rod.
A very good ON-ON-ON was held at Carlo’s.

ON-ON Scribe CultureVulture
Lyrics (in red) by Lee Adams from the musical Bye Bye Birdie.

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