Date: Sunday, 2nd November 2014
Location: Semen’s house, Yalikavak
Scribe: Doggy Style
Thanks to the very detailed directions, twelve of us easily found our way to Semen’s abode in Yalikavak for the RV. We all gathered around the garden jostling for positions in the sunshine. And then we were blinded!!!! Not by the autumn sun, but by the neon-orange new trainers adorning Culture Vulture’s feet. At least he has a matching pair now.
In the absence of Hose Handler (who we are all missing and send our best wishes to), Semen did a double act as both hare and GM. The info about the run was as detailed as the directions, but we got the idea that there were marks on the left and we needed to follow them. No hooks, so no need for certain offenders in the front running group to develop injuries or a sudden desire to slow down at strategic parts of the run. The down down was awarded for FRB at the last run – a beer each for Culture Vulture, Shitter, Lightfoot and King Crapper who had all joined hands and skipped in together. And then we were off across the fields calling “On On” and “Checking”, much to the bemusement of the local cows, with the trail quickly being picked up by Lightfoot, CV and King Crapper. Shitter was slightly slower as he had to negotiate his furry friends. There were a couple of confusing moments – firstly when a local decided to blast his chainsaw just opposite a check, so that we couldn’t hear any of the calls, and secondly, when we met a JCB kindly clearing a river bed for us. Made the route nice and smooth, but they had destroyed Semen’s diligent marking at a checkpoint.
We were soon back out on the roads (frankly I had no bearing as to where we were) and then disaster struck. Just as Fishy Fingers and I were discussing our exercise plan for the forthcoming week, she yelped out in pain and complained about her calf muscle. She tried stretching it and slow walking whilst I searched for the next marks at a junction, but the hobbling was soon accompanied by an “Ouch” at every step. Down on the wall she sat (at least she had the nice new marina shops to gaze into), and thankfully the walkers soon caught us up. Old Wreck kindly volunteered to sit with Fishy, whilst Butt Butt and I set out on the rest of the route, busily trying to call each of the front running bastards to arrange a rescue car. Obviously, none of them bother to check their phones, so we were almost back at the RV by the time Lightfoot finally answered his and became a Knight in Shining Armour to the rescue.
We were soon all assembled back at the RV, Fishy safely deposited on a comfy chair with Shitter rubbing up and down her leg. With a cold can of beer. He had obviously been far too close in front of me at one part of the run, as he seemed to have deposited bits of his namesake on the front of my T-shirt, although tried to blame it on a poor defenceless kitten.
The closing circle commenced with the usual beer for the hare amidst complaints about the terrible quality of trail. As he couldn’t even hide his new shoes on a night run, CV then had to drink beer from said new shoes. Both feet due to their assault on our eyes. His courageous taking-on of the task was noted by Butt Butt who seemed to be hinting heavily that she would like to be asked to drink from shoes in the future. Virgin and Old Banger were called in for short-cutting, and then Butt Butt was summoned for the signing of her 100th run T-shirt. As she has sworn to be alcohol-free for five months (crazy woman!), Shitter had to come in and drink the big glass of beer for her. Unusually for him, it took some persuasion to prise him away from his seat on the wall, and into the middle of the circle. Butt Butt was called back for another down down with me as we had been having a private party, followed by Helmet Polisher, Old Wreck and Semen for misnaming, Lightfoot for his knightly rescue and myself and Fishy Fingers for no hash gear. With autumn well and truly upon us, it was then time for “Au revoir” downdowns to Old Banger, Old Wreck and King Crapper. We look forward to having you all back with us soon. The final down down was awarded to Lightfoot in recognition of his truly Turkish driving skills on the way to Turgutreis after the last On On On.
With all the beer drunk, the circle was brought to a close and we proceeded to Kosede for a lovely end to the afternoon. Thank you Semen for a great hash.