Gumuşluk at 3pm on 9th August 2015
Hares: Culture Vulture & Long Willie
Scribe: King Crapper
1. The Gather-round
And so they gathered, the faithful 19, on a warm summer afternoon at the Gumuşluk country estate of Culture Vulture and Virgin. The RV parking had been pre-specified; limited inside the estate, with the overflow outside where care was to be taken not to obstruct the neighbours parking or the grazing area. Despite the estate gates being left open in a most welcoming fashion, everyone chose to park outside, thus leaving the ‘choice’ internal parking for VIP’s and late arrivals. Dopey, the late-arrival-of-the-day, also chose to park outside and lived up to his name by blocking the neighbour’s car.
The Gather-round was called by RA Culture Vulture, who was probably quite pleased that the pack had not found their way into his cool and inviting pool.
The first-home-on-the-last-run, Shitter, beaten only by the professional runners of the Happy family clan who were not present on this day, was called in for his drink.
The hares, Culture Vulture and Long Willie, introduced themselves and proceeded with their ‘disinformation’ act. One said the run was easy and not too long, while the other said he had lost 4kg in sweat while laying the trail so advised extra water to be carried. The trail was laid using blue arrows on the left, with toilet paper in places, and an observant runner could find drinking water at certain places.
Other announcements followed. After the Hash, runners would be invited to use the pool, but were asked to shower first. The BBQ would be fired up after the down-downs were completed. And hares were still required for the run in 4 weeks.
2. The Run.
On-on was called towards the gates, but many of the pack went the other way to stock up on water. The runners followed the trail out to the tarmac road and then turned left for a short distance before turning right into the bed of a dry stream. Foliage overhead provided welcome cover from the sun and most enjoyed this delightful section of trail; the exception being Barrel who was nursing his ankle still damaged from 2 runs previous. Some 3 checks and several small back-streets later, the pack emerged in the centre of Gumuşluk village.
And then the up-hill began, gradual at first, above and behind the Gumuşluk main street, past the water cistern, and straight on for the runners. The walkers were diverted right and soon baked in the heat as they ascended a steep section of gravel and then concrete road, to reach a ‘5-option’ check on the tarmac Karakaya access road. To reach the same check, the runners enjoyed a long loop containing several checks, continuing initially up and then down to the ‘over-hill’ road towards Yalikavak. Front runners LuvJoy, Shitter and the more youthful Patrick rotated places as each had luck in finding the trail which turned right up the ‘over-hill’ road, right again up a gravel road , and then near the end of this road (and with guidance from hare Long Willie), right again through a gate into scrub and farm land. Here toilet paper dangling from bushes assisted in marking the trail and the pack scrambled upwards, over at least one small wall protected by thorn branches and barbed wire (enjoyed in particular by Fishy Fingers and Piss Pot), to some ruins and then the houses and the entrance of Karakaya village. By the time the runners had reached and investigated the back-checks of the scenic ‘5-option’ check, and had recovered from King Crapper incorrectly identifying a hook, the walkers, directed by hare Culture Vulture, had long since descended the downwards trail via a new road past a major water depot, and had enjoyed the water from a public tap. Dopey generously paid back one group of walkers, who had shared their water with his sister Emel and him, by purchasing ice creams for all as the outskirts of Gumuşluk village was reached. The runner’s path home was cleverly concealed using back-checks, and in at least one instance, a check-back, but the general direction was down. The RV was a most welcomed sight after a trail that had taken more than one and a half hours for the slower runners.
3. The Circle
The circle was delayed so that all could enjoy a dip in the hosts’ pool. LuvJoy led the way in organizing a vigorous pool-version of ‘piggy-in-the-middle’, so it was a great relief to some when the Circle was called by acting GM Culture Vulture.
First called in by Dopey, in his capacity of ‘acting acting GM’, were the hares Culture Vulture and Long Willie. Calls of ‘too short’, ‘not steep enough’, ‘not hot enough’ and ‘not enough toilet paper’ were amongst those shouted from the circle.
The RA and acting GM Culture Vulture then took over and explained the significance of increasing beer prices, falling hasher numbers, the current illegal act of the Hash selling beer without a liquor licence, and the unavailability of others to help with the Hash mismanagement. He asked for members to consider and debate the possible solution to all these problems; that members bring their own alcohol to the Hash while the hash mismanagement supplies only the down-down beers, so that this could be voted on in the near future. The RA and acting GM also asked for members to identify others they know who might be interested in hashing, and also any previous hashers who may be enticed back
And then the usual business of the circle continued. Dopey and Emel were called in for arriving late, and for setting out on the hash with insufficient water supply. Dopey was rewarded again for his pre-hash car parking. Barrel, who had earlier been given the ‘helmet’ for falling on a previous hash, and Piss Pot who had been given the ‘hash shit’ for not scribing the previous hash trash, were called out in recognition of their acts. Emel was introduced as a naming candidate, and, later in the proceedings, was named Money Penny and given an appropriate drink. Returnee Tinkerbell was invited into the circle for a drink, as was ‘virgin’ Patrick. Muffin Muncher was called in for wearing pink, and her attempt to draw attention to Tits’ pink toe-nails was ignored. Virgin and Happy were given drinks for misnaming. Shitter, ButBut, Tits, and Happy were called in for being mug-less, and Patrick was called in for his tea-pot pose.
In recognition of Patrick being Canadian, Barrel sang a hash version of the French national anthem, and later told a very good joke which, like all other jokes, this Scribe cannot remember. Each hash member present then introduced him/herself to Patrick, and he, after a very good attempt in remembering all but a few names, was awarded a drink.
Finally, Old Wreck, LuvJoy, Fishy Fingers, Culture Vulture, and Shitter, were called in to help finish up the remaining down-down drinks.
The circle was finally closed, the BBQ was lit, and an excellent evening was enjoyed by all. Our thanks go out to Culture Vulture and Virgin for making their estate available to the hash, and also for their hospitality. Both were most appreciated.